Practices That Feel Like an Act

It's incredibly common to separate your new self from familiar people rather than being your new self in that familiarity. It's almost as if you're not quite sure how to blend the two. Mix the old with the new.

I remember recognizing a separation early on in my journey.

It's as if I were afraid to be the new me with my family at home.

Afraid of rejection or judgment.

I was afraid to show them who I was becoming, or more so, unbecoming.

I hear this often from my clients.

"I go back to being the old me around certain people."

And this can be more many different reasons, but as for my journey, it was because I was afraid to show up as the version of me, I was working so hard to be.

As for me, I was afraid of someone calling me out on it and thinking I was acting or pretending. And to be honest, all of these practices are acting at first.

You begin with practicing something that is new until your practice becomes your nature.

So, if you're in the beginning, where you're still unsure of who you even are, keep practicing.

Keep showing up, even if it's just around certain people if you have to because before you know it, you will show up fully as yourself around everyone, including your husband, including your kids, not worried about being called out because you are now a new you.

It's so common to feel this, you are not the only one.

Keep showing up unapologetically.

You have the right to reinvent yourself every day if you choose to.

Before you know it, you will be burning medicine one early Sunday morning, wrapping turkey and owl feathers together with your kids, and that's going to all be absolutely normal in your home.

Your kids will watch you unfold right before your eyes.

They may resist, question, call you out at first, but you keep going, and all of it then seems like a regular degular day after some time.

They will learn from you, take what's for them and release what's not, but one thing's for certain, they are watching with curiosity. (Peep the photo at the bottom for the outcome of the owl and turkey feather wrapping 😆)

I love you, I'm rooting for you! Keep showing up <3

-Zuleica Vasquez

Prayer Fan